This is very dear to my heart. It's not for teaching or even for empathy, but for all of us who need hope, and a real love. I keep feeling it's not just for me...
Yesterday was a sad day, a day of misunderstanding and pain. We’ve waited and hoped, we’ve
been excited and overjoyed as we’ve shared our news of life growing in our family. Rovun was
going to be a big brother for others to see, and now only those who know, and Jesus, will ever
know and see. I didn’t know I was susceptible to pain like that.
Each time we wake up, it’s like reliving it all over again. As I sit on my bed weeping while my
family sleeps…I hear my song coming from Rovun’s room. The one he has to play over and over.
It used to be my favorite song, and still has so much power, but often times I want to turn it off
and sleep! Lol.
…Worthy is our God…
To The One Who Was, Is
And always Will Be
To the One Who Was, Is
And always Will Be, God
- Loud Love
He loves us, He loves me, He cares and sees. This is not a punishment, this is not His Will, this is
not His best. It’s death. It’s not right. It’s the result of a lie from the enemy. It’s sin into this
world, manifesting itself in our bodies. Our spirit’s have been made new, perfect, and it’s a
journey for our bodies to ever see that fullness. I’m still on that journey, we all are.
I believe in God our Father
I believe in Christ the Son
I believe in the Holy Spirit
Our God is Three in One
I believe in the resurrection
That we will rise again
For I believe in the Name of Jesus.
As I woke up, I see my husband, who once was diligently working on our couch, now asleep
with his laptop. I hear my sweet son saying, "Mommy! It’s time to wake up!" in the sweetest,
cutest voice imaginable. I heard the Lord saying pray for him, and to write. I open my Bible and
the 1st verse I see is Isaiah 53:5 "By His wounds we are healed." And I think, this isn’t funny
My baby girl is with Jesus. I know her, but have never held her. This isn’t happening and isn’t
real…is what I keep telling myself. That somehow, she’s still there even though my body is
bleeding. We weren’t meant to experience this kind of life. And so, Jesus….
Because of Him, the sting of never hearing her laugh or getting to know her, is held at bay. She
will never have to experience the pain of this world, yet she will experience the fullness of God the Father, her Savior and friend, in His FULLNESS. She skipped the in-between and went
straight to Him. She knows it’s where her heart belongs. It’s where we all belong. I know the
closer I am to Him, the more I get to experience this reality, until someday we all do fully.
I told Ro last night that someday we will all get to go live with Jesus like his sister. We ALL get to
be there. In His love, He gave us a choice. And in His love, He sent HIS son for me, for us. It’s
hurtful and hard to understand when we experience death on earth. So we look to what we
know is true. Jesus, His death, burial and resurrection.
Yet it was our weaknesses he carried;
it was our sorrows (sicknesses) that weighed Him down.
And we thought his troubles were a punishment from God,
A punishment for His own sins!
BUT He was pierced for OUR rebellion,
Crushed for OUR sins.
He was beaten so we could be whole.
He was whipped so we could be healed.
All of us, like sheep, have strayed away.
We have left God’s paths to follow our own.
Yet the Lord laid on Him, the sins of us all.
I know with confidence that this is never God’s design, because He sent His ONE AND ONLY Son
for me to come back to Him, to not take the punishment I deserve, and to be healed.
"...My Righteous servant will make it possible for many to be made righteous." Isaiah 53:11
I get to be as Jesus; Victorious, an heir to the throne, righteous before God. THIS is why I can
stand in confidence in what God’s will is for my life, because what is God’s will for Jesus? He
BORE our sin and punishment y’all so WE WOULDN’T HAVE TO. No, death is not of God, this is
off a fallen world. My God has made a way, the Way Maker has made a way for me. Death is
not the end…
Whether now or then
Death is not my end
I know heaven lives in me
– Hillsong Worship
So with pain in my heart, and love in my soul, I walk forward. Never forgetting what is behind,
but with full confidence of my Savior’s love, the ability to see miracles, experience life as He
intended, knowing that soon, it will all be made right, forever.
For Willow Joy (March 15, 2017)