If Only

©2009 Joanna Beasley, Dustin Burnett, Otto Sharp

I can see your face now
You hide behind your eyes
The pain of 23 years
Bottled up inside

You're running, running

College came so fast
You left behind the truth
The distance that you kept
The anger of your youth

You're running, running

If only I could think of a place that far
Where lonely hearts can't be reached by God
You're broken you think no one knows where you are
If only, if only

I saw you in my dreams
Can't get you off my mind
I can see your heart now
Are you afraid of what you'll find

You're running, still running

you knew the distance he would go to pick you up
no matter where you've been
His love and saving grace will always be enough
no matter where you go
If only I could think of a place that far….. no

Patiently Waiting

A beautiful collage of the past few years of growing, changing and learning more about the Love of Christ through her recent marriage.

My World

Released in August of 2005 at the age of 19, just 3 years after advancing to the final 80 contestants in Fox's hit show "American Idol."

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Story Behind the Song

The wonderful "Otto Sharp" came up with this concept, at first, I was unsure if this is where my heart wanted to go. Yet with tears fighting my eyes, I recall my heart being changed the night as I met a man who changed my heart forever.

Kerry (my husband), one of my best girl friends and myself were taking a walk on the Nashville Pedestrian bridge, after celebrating my birthday with some friends over sushi. We wanted to walk down the bridge because that is where Kerry and I had our first unofficial date. I brought along my favorite camera, it's an old school Polaroid one where the pictures come out as soon as you take it. There were 3 men on the bridge and we asked one of them to take a picture. After they did, we made small take with them, that I could tell was turning into a lengthier conversation. Thoughts were going through my head on how to end this conversation quickly so we could proceed with our night, then seeing that Kerry and my friend were fully engaging the conversations, my heart asked God to help me have that same attitude and find a way to love them like Jesus would.

We talked for over an hour. My friend was determined to tell one of these homeless men, that she doesn't care what he has done, and neither does God, but that God just loves this man. He could easily comprehend how God could love someone like her, well dressed, kind, fun and loving. Yet, he couldn't comprehend how God could love someone like him, homeless, drunk, and so many mistakes in his past, including taking someone's life.

It clicked in my head, the chorus we had written that same day. It was becoming so close to my heart as this man was unknowingly writing himself on my heart with every hopeless word he said. I wanted so badly for this man to understand the truth, it was as if he was the judge, and we were giving him the evidence to set the man on trial free, and he was acting as if it wasn't there. He was playing the judge, and the victim in this case.

That night, I sang him this song we wrote that day, knowing that at that moment, it was for him. It's ironic that as my heart goes out for him, I find fear trying to creep it's way in, telling me not to share the story of love and life, the story of Jesus. But if they only knew, that there is NO place too far for God to get to them, I can't even imagine it, it's non existant. If only I could think of a place that far. I can't.